Have you ever seen that meme where a disciple tells Jesus He's in the way and He responds that He is the way? It's pretty funny. Anyways...
As ashamed as I am to admit it, I’ve
said something along these lines. There are times when I’ve put Jesus behind me,
trying to find my own way, when I should’ve put Him in front to lead the way
instead.
Here’s an example.
Lately, I’ve been extremely stressed
with, well, everything. There’s too much schoolwork, tough teachers, pressure
as to what I’m going to do with my life, family situations to deal with, my own
hopes and dreams I ignore, etc. I don’t know how to deal with it all!
So, when I sit there at my desk,
head in my hands, pulling my hair with frustration, while simultaneously hoping
I won’t pull it out, it’s almost like this happens:
Tap.
Tap. Tap.
I shrug away, but the tapping
continues. I try to ignore it to no avail. Finally, I turn and address Him.
“What is it, Jesus?” I ask while
motioning to my mounds of stress. “Can’t You see I’m busy?”
“I can help,” He responds. “That is,
if you’d like. Just say the word.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay, thanks.
I’ve got this.” I start to turn back, but am stopped by a hand on my shoulder.
“Seriously,” He says, “let me help.
I don’t like seeing you like this.”
“Look,” I sigh, “Jesus, you know I
love You, but I can figure this all out. If I need help, I’ll come to You, all
right?”
I turn back to everything waiting
for me. Tests, projects, and homework. Possible future plans. Parents and
siblings. Failed hopes and dreams. My head starts to fall into my hands as I
feel all of the stress culminate inside of me.
Ultimately, I snap.
Frustrated, I move away from it all,
turning to anything
that will occupy my mind. Distractions
and procrastination. Procrastination and distractions.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
There it is again. Like before, I
attempt to ignore it, but the tapping doesn’t stop. I sigh.
“What is it now?” I ask with
annoyance.
“You don’t have it all under
control,” He points out. “Please, let me help you.”
“I can figure it out, Jesus,” I repeat,
even though by now I’m questioning whether I really can. There’s so much on my
mind! I don’t know where to go with it all, and yet, I can’t admit it. With
tears in my eyes, I say, “I’ll find my way.”
Jesus answers, “I am the way.”
To be honest, I don’t know why it’s
so difficult to let God help me with my stress. It’s almost like I feel I can
come to Him with anything, except that. I feel comfortable coming to Him with
so much else, like when I’m scared or thankful.
But not when I’m stressed.
Maybe it all boils down to trust. I need to
trust God can help with all of this I’m stressed about. I think He can’t help because
what I’m stressed about seems to be all in my control, but it’s not. It’s in
God’s.
The result? I end up turning from God, trying
to take care of it all myself when God is clearly there waiting to help. He
doesn’t want me to stress; He wants me to let Him take care of everything.
Yeah, it’s not easy.
Maybe, though, with some prayer, meditation
in His word, and praise, I can get on the right track. I can learn to try my
best, but then learn when I’ve reached my limit and have to leave the rest up
to God.
Instead of stumbling along blindly with this
backpack full of my stress, not sure where to go, I think I’d rather take Jesus’
hand, let Him help carry my stress and lead.
After all, He knows the way much better than
I do.
“Jesus answered,
‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except
through me.” – John 14:6 (NIV)
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