Love Thy (Gay) Neighbor

            “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

            “Oh yeah? Well the Bible also says ‘Lot and his daughters,’ not ‘Lot and his sons.’”

            There is no other theological debate that I am more tired of hearing about than the one on homosexuality. The main reason why it bothers me is because it’s tearing the Christian church apart. It’s almost like I walk into a church, someone asks me whether or not I’m okay with homosexuality, and then I’m either welcomed in or shunned depending on my answer.

            That’s not right.

            Here’s my dilemma. I am absolutely horrified at the way “Christians” are treating homosexuals. Not only that, I can’t even say for sure whether or not I believe homosexuality is a sin. Currently, I feel myself leaning towards the belief that it’s not.

            Shocker! Well, I did say I don’t have conventional views on matters.

            Let me start with the fact that I’m not gay. I like guys and want to have a husband someday. Hopefully, my heterosexuality can give me some impartiality on the subject.

            Now, ever since I was aware of the homosexuality debate, I have always called myself “neutral territory.” I wasn’t for or against gay people. If someone was against, fine. If someone was gay, fine. It didn’t matter either way for me. Although I still have the same non-judgmental attitude, I have taken the issue a lot more seriously lately.

Why? Because I’ve begun to notice the horrible way Christians are treating their gay neighbors.

How could “Christians” go to church and then look down in disgust at the gay person sitting in the pew next to them? How could they ignore their own sins while they judge anyone who shows even the slightest hint of being gay? How could they believe they are supposed to hate homosexuals? How could they believe God hates homosexuals?

It baffles me.

Jesus says, “Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than this” (Mark 12:31). He doesn’t say to love someone because I agree with his or her lifestyle choices. He doesn’t say to love someone because I know he or she is not sinning. He doesn’t say, “Love someone because” at all. He just commands to love. Period.

Now saying this, I know that doesn’t mean if we don’t agree with someone who is, say, a drug addict, that we should hang around him or her all the time and pick up bad habits in the name of love. It does mean, though, that we shouldn’t hate him or her.

All right, after getting that off my chest, let me go back to why I’m leaning more towards the idea that homosexuality is not a sin. I do want to state that I don’t want to force anyone to agree with me, I just want to express my musings on the subject.

So, there are several “sins” in the Bible that are no longer considered sins. For example, no one is supposed to touch a woman when she is on her period because she is considered impure (Leviticus 15:19). (Well, then I guess many of my friends who have hugged me during my time of the month have sinned. Whoops!) Commandments, such as this one, are considered outdated and no longer valid, so to speak. “Cultural variation” is the term I have heard. Some parts of the Bible have to be seen in relation to their cultural context; it should not be taken literally word for word, without analyzing.

When I revealed my observation, one of my Christian friends told me there are parts of the Bible that should be taken literally and others figuratively. I agreed, but when I asked how to discern what parts to take literally or figuratively, my friend replied, “Oh, you just know.”

            Well, I don’t think you can “just know.” I think the Bible needs to be considered and deeply analyzed based on its cultural context to be able to understand what is most relevant and important for us as Christians today. If we followed the Bible literally without doing so, then there would still be slavery in our society and women would not have rights. I don’t think I should be focused on whether or not I need to wear a head covering because I’m a woman and the Bible says so (1 Corinthians 11) when I should be more focused on other pressing matters, like my sexual purity as an unmarried young adult, for example. 

The way I see it, a sin is a sin because it has consequences. If I lie to my mom, I’ve hurt her and myself. If I cheat on my boyfriend, I’ve ruined my relationship. If I have sex before marriage and then get dumped by my boyfriend (or get pregnant or an STD), I’ve lost my self-respect (and get myself in trouble to boot). And if I have an addiction, I'm going to lose everything. 

Sins also include a lack of love. Obviously, if I lie to my mom, I care more about the benefits that come with the lie than I do her. If I cheat on my boyfriend, I care more about gratifying my own desires than I do my boyfriend’s feelings. If I decide to have sex before marriage, I’m more than likely acting on lust than love. And if I have an addiction, it's all about satisfying my life-threatening desires. There's no love in any of these cases, whether for myself or others. 

There are exceptions, though, no? I might lie to my mom to save her from something horrible. I might cheat on accident (though I find that one difficult to imagine). I might even decide to have premarital sex because I’ve been in a loving, committed relationship for years, but cannot get married for some reason. And technically, I could be addicted to a good thing, like reading the Bible everyday. 

            Well, what about homosexuality? I agree that a gay couple that decides to act on their lust for each other is a sin because 1) there will be consequences, just like with a heterosexual couple and 2) there is no love. But what about a committed, loving, Christian gay couple that wants to wait until marriage, growing closer to God in the meantime, like any faithful, Christian straight couple? Why should one couple be praised while the other one is condemned? Apparently, it’s because the gender of the people in the couple matters.

            I see no logic in that (and I won’t even get into the problem of gender and the biological/psychological debate on it).

            Now I know there are so many arguments about what the Bible does and does not say about homosexuality. I’m not an educated theologian so I’m not going to debate the Bible scriptures as if I am one. Heck, I’m not even sure if the parts of the Bible I do get are understood correctly. I’m only human; I’m a sinner and I’m flawed. I accept that.

            Which is why I refuse to judge homosexuals and plan to leave the judgment to He who holds the almighty gavel up in heaven.

But I will say this. The debate between homosexuality and Christianity needs to stop dividing churches, youth groups, Christian friends, and every other Christian in the world. We are all God’s children. Should we deny an alcoholic to come to church? Should we deny a liar a seat at our table? No! Jesus spent time with the people who were considered the lowest of the low, such as prostitutes and lepers. So if homosexuality is a sin, who cares?! I know I will welcome them into church, hug them, and love them no matter what because nothing is more important than sharing the love of Christ.

            Absolutely nothing.

Note: I found a great website on homosexuality and Christianity: the Gay Christian Network. What I found most interesting is the whole idea of “The Great Debate” within the gay Christian community, arguing the Traditionalist vs. Reformed view on the position of homosexuality in Christianity today. I'm not going to lie. Many of the ideas I spoke about in this blog post came from and were inspired by these essays, especially the reformed one. Credit is due where credit is due. I recommend reading the original essays if anyone is as interested in the subject as I am.

Also, there's a great article, "I'm Christian, Unless Your Gay" that I think takes what I'm saying and breaks it down even further. Just in case anyone's interested!