What really
angers me to the point where I find
it difficult to stay quiet is those guys who try to convince girls to have sex
and the girls who let them.
I don’t mean out of love, some
people are in love and they decide to take that step. I don’t judge them. I
worry about the girls who sometimes don’t understand what they’re doing. Sometimes
guys just want sex, not love, and that’s not what it’s supposed to be about.
Some guys get away with lines like,
“If you loved me, you would show me your love” or “prove it.” Some girls,
unfortunately, get reeled in.
Here’s a story where one girl
barely made it.
I have a virgin, Christian friend
who was dating this guy. Things were getting serious when he wanted her to meet
his parents so I knew I needed to remind her about one little fact.
“Does he know you’re a virgin?”
“I don’t want to mention it,” she
responded. “What if I scare him away?”
“Well,” I said, “if you tell him
now and scare him away, that shows he wasn’t worth it. But if you keep it a
secret until much later when you’re really serious about him, then one, he’ll
think you lied, and two, it’ll hurt more if you break up instead of finding out
now and going separate ways. It’s just realizing you’re each looking for
different things in a relationship.”
As I reminded
her, she pushed the subject further into the back of her mind. She didn’t want
to tell him anytime soon, but one day, she had no choice.
She was
talking to him and found out he wasn’t a virgin. As a result, she revealed her
secret. At first, he didn’t see a problem with it, but when she told him she
wanted to wait until marriage, or at least until she was older and in a longer,
committed relationship of a few years, he hesitated.
He acted
like it didn’t bother him, but after he let it sink in he exploded with anger
and yelled at her. The main gist was that he thought he could fall in love with
her and that it wasn’t fair for him to not be allowed to express his love for
her physically when he really wanted to be that close to her.
When my
friend told me the story, I worried she gave in. Thankfully, though, she
didn’t. Instead, she decided to call him out on it.
She started
yelling right back!
She said if
he truly thought he could love her, than he wouldn’t see this one decision as a
problem. She said he shouldn’t pressure her if he really cared about her and
that if sex was more important, then they were through.
Although
things didn’t work out, I completely agree with what my friend said. It was
true! Her friend was so focused on one aspect that, even though they got along
perfectly well, found each other physically attractive, and had fun together, he
lost her. He wanted to take that step to meet the parents, but sex was the deal
breaker.
This
happens with a lot of girls my age, or any age. They think they have to give in
to a guy out of fear of losing them, but I don’t. I think if a guy told me, “If
you loved me, you would have sex with me,” I’d say, “If you loved me, you
wouldn’t pressure me.”
I’ve made a promise to myself and
to God that I want to wait and that’s my decision. If a guy can’t respect that,
then forget him. I mean, if a guy won’t respect that one decision about sex,
how is he going to respect me?
It makes me
sad so many girls don’t think like this. Many girls give in because they think
they’ll never get a guy who respects them enough to wait and then they lower
their standards.
Personally,
I don’t think they should, and I don’t want to either. I know it sounds corny,
but I have faith God will find me the right guy. I just refuse to let any guy
change my mind. I have many reasons for waiting, but the guy doesn’t even need
to know them. Just the fact that I want to wait should be enough for his
respect.
If a guy can’t understand that,
then I don’t need him. I have someone else who loves me great enough to respect
everything I say, believe, and dream. He’s God and I trust He’ll find me a guy
who will respect me and never pressure me.
The only man I’ll let lead me on is
Jesus.
