By: Drummer for Jesus
One of the biggest problems I think we all face is sexuality.
Whether it’s an awkward parental conversation, talking about it with friends or
maybe even at Youth Group, we all hear about it at some point and, needless to
say, it draws attention. I think what truly draws our attention is the Internet
and, along with it, pornography. Today I will share my experience with porn as
a Christian teen.
When I was fifteen years old, I started my decline into a
pornography addiction. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made. The
constant sexual thoughts and images in my head never went away. It was so hard
to go a day without it. It drove me away from Jesus because I thought He would
never forgive me and I was too far in.
For me, it was worse because I had trouble learning what it meant
to love. I struggled to even look at a girl in my classroom without seeing her
as a sex object. It only got worse as, along with that, I had a loss of
confidence in myself due to my mental state at the time.
I grew to hate both my mind and body. It was so hard for me that
I even grew depressed. Pornography had me in its grasp and I didn’t want to let
it go. But God had a plan the whole time. He wasn’t going to let me continue in
this state.
Three years after it started, I went to Christian camp and met a
girl there. I was very shy and didn’t really talk to anyone, but she came up to
me and for the first time, I felt something different. Little did I know that
this would lead to something greater.
Months passed and college started. I was still in my addiction,
but I was brave and started to face it along with the friend I made, who soon became
my best friend. I gained confidence, started exercising and going to church
again, and prayed constantly for God to help me keep going.
Next thing I knew, I went a day without pornography, then a week,
then a month. It eventually turned into several months (with occasional
relapses) until I ultimately triumphed over my addiction thanks to the grace of
God. Thanks to Him, not only did I get out of my addiction, but also one of the
most wonderful things happened.
I fell in love with my best friend who helped me through it all.
I’m grateful to her because she was the miracle I needed at that exact moment.
Now, I’m blessed to say I’ve been almost half a year sober and started to get
counseling and I’ve never been happier in my life!
Now you might think just one peek won’t hurt, but let me refer
you to a scripture I keep close to my heart at times like those. 1 Corinthians
6:18-19 says to run away from sexual temptations and sin because, though it
might not seem to affect you at first, it might lead you to do something you’ll
regret.
If you have a pornography addiction, boy or girl, I urge you to talk
with anyone who could help. Many pastors have dedicated years of study to this
and can help. I suggest you watch this video from Robert Cook, a youth minister
who has helped people turn from pornography, as a push to help you receive the
forgiveness and blessing of God.
May God bless you all and thanks SWIACT for letting me be a guest
writer!
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