When God’s Hands Are Better than My Own

            There’s this serious problem I have. I always want to do absolutely everything by myself. If I can avoid getting any help whatsoever, I do so. I’m the typical person who never reads the instructions and doesn’t like to ask teachers for help. In group projects, I’m the one to take the lead. I like things to be under my control and no one else. In other words, I like to take all matters into my own hands.

            Yet, there are times when my hands can only hold so much.

            Sure, I can play video games without looking at the instruction manuals. I can figure out how to do a homework assignment on my own. I can lead my group so we can get the project done. I can even make decisions based on what I believe without help from anyone else. These are things I can control and easily fit into the palms of my hands.

            But what about what I can’t control?

What do I do when a friend of mine comes to me with a problem I can’t fix? When I disagree with an important decision a family member makes? When something completely random and terrible happens to someone I love? When I worry about where my future is heading? What do I do when the things I most desperately want to control are so out of my control that I don’t know what to do?

            I’ll try to fit everything into my hands, but I’ll always fail. It’s like trying to carry too many things at once. Just when I think I have a grasp on everything, something will fall to the floor. I’ll pick it up and try to get the hang of things again, but then another thing gets added and then another until my hands are so full I feel completely weighed down and all I want to do is give it all to someone else to deal with.

            That’s when God comes in.

            I’ll suddenly realize God’s hands are right there, under me, waiting for me to drop it all so He can catch it. But then a funny thing happens. As I try to let go, the more I end up holding on, even though I’m doing a terrible job at it. Even if just moments ago I wanted someone to take it all from me, when the chance actually arrives, I find it increasingly difficult to do so.

            So there I’ll be, wobbling under the weight of all these things I’m struggling to control and hold onto with my two small hands, and God will always be right under me, His greater and stronger hands open and waiting. Then, as difficult as it will be, I’ll slowly let things go, one by one, dropping them into His ready hands with my eyes closed and hoping He’ll catch them.

            And God? Well, I need to trust He’ll know just what to do with it all.