I never
used to understand the big hype around “Thirsty Thursday.” Every Thursday,
people go out and party, get drunk, and then regret it Friday morning. What was
the point? Why would someone put him or herself through that?
Then I
understood. “It’s a hard knock life,” as Annie would say. Life is difficult; it
is stressful and painful. It’s a searing cut in my skin that never fully heals
no matter how much medicine I put on it. If there were any way to relieve the
pain, I would take the chance.
Isn’t that
the promise alcohol makes?
Now the example I’m about to give didn’t
happen today or even this year. It happened when I was going through a much
more difficult time than I have been lately. I just want to make that clear.
So one day,
a couple of years ago, I was at a relatively low moment in my life. As a
result, I decided to listen to those whispered promises. I’m not proud of it,
but I got drunk. Once. Never again since then, and I don’t plan on it ever
again either, even after I’m happily past twenty-one and here’s why.
Nothing changed.
After I
felt as nauseous as if I was on a heaving boat, after I felt so dizzy I
couldn’t distinguish between the floor and the ceiling, and after I fell into a
deep, dreamless sleep, nothing changed.
After I
woke up the next morning with a pulsating headache, after I went to church
feeling as if I had spent the night substituting for somebody’s punching bag,
and after I lied to my family and won the award for best patient performance, absolutely
nothing changed.
My problems
were still there when I got off the boat, when I could tell where the floor and
ceiling were, and when I was awake. My problems were still there when the
headache crawled back home, when I resigned from my punching bag position, and
when I abandoned my acting career. Alcohol didn’t keep its promise; instead, it
broke my heart even further than I thought it could break.
This all
brings me to today. My day was nowhere near as bad as the day I got drunk, but
it wasn’t a good day either. Stress has been my companion lately, no matter how
many times I try to say goodbye. Tonight, though, while many people were into “Thirsty
Thursday,” I decided to go to my youth group, which I hadn’t gone to for a
while.
Stress
tried to accompany me in, but I was able to trade it for someone else: Jesus.
He didn’t lie to me like alcohol did. He didn’t say my problems were going to
be gone in an instance. He didn’t even say the pain was going to subside
anytime soon. What He did promise was that He would be with me as I went through
it all. He reminded me that He loves me and that no matter what I’m going
through, He always would.
After I
left, my problems were still there, just like when I drank, but there was one
difference: the problems didn’t bother me as much. I felt worse about my
problems when I drank because I wasn’t doing anything to better the situation.
However, spending some time with God, letting go of my stress, rejuvenating my
strength, that was doing something
about my problems. Even if it was just giving me a little sense of hope, going
to youth group did so much more for me than drinking would have.
Now, I’m
not saying drinking in general is bad. I never think something in its whole is
bad, I think it’s when someone loses control with a substance that it can be
harmful. For example, using the Internet isn’t a bad thing, but using it to
look up harmful things, looking at it every possible minute until an addiction
is formed, that’s bad. So, I don’t think a sip of wine at a wedding is a big
deal. Getting drunk at a wedding, now that’s worth worrying about. Drinking for
the wrong reasons can be bad as well, like in my case.
Here’s my
new solution for myself, though, and I offer it as advice. If I ever do want to
just forget about everything, relax, and give into something completely, I know
just what to do.
I’ll get
drunk off Jesus.
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