A Halloween Post: Candy, Costumes, and Christians

            I’m just going to come out and say it. Yes, I do dress up on October 31^st. Yes, I have gone out trick-or-treating with my friends on October 31^st. No, I do not celebrate “Halloween.”

            What I mean is I don’t celebrate Halloween as the way many think of it. I don’t dress up like a devil, go to haunted houses, pull pranks on the neighbor houses and scare my siblings half to death. Some say that’s all the fun there is to do on October 31^st, but that’s just not how I was raised.

            In my house, my mom has always been careful when it comes to Halloween. She would put up decorations, such as a wreath on the door made of colorful leaves and pinecones, or an un-carved pumpkin. When I wanted to wear a costume, she always made sure to explain to me what costumes were appropriate to wear as a Christian. As I grew up, I gradually understood the difference between the Halloween some of my non-Christian friends were celebrating and what we were celebrating.

            My family was celebrating autumn, or harvest.

            There’s a lot of controversy over whether or not Christians should celebrate Halloween. Some people do inappropriate things on the day. The origins are pagan. There are quite a few reasons people question the holiday.

            Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with dressing up and going trick-or-treating. Halloween has its pagan roots, but so does Christmas even (such as the tree). I think so long as Christians steer clear of doing anything they feel uncomfortable doing, such as dressing up like the devil (big no no), and keep in mind that the harvest can also be celebrated, I think Christians can have a fun time on October 31^st instead of sitting inside with the lights off avoiding trick-or-treaters like the plague (or ebola, that’s a big thing now).

            One other particular reason why I like the idea of Christians participating on October 31^st is that it is a great chance to share the gospel.

            I specifically remember one October 31^st when I was younger when I went to a neighbor’s house to trick-or-treat. A kind, elderly Asian woman greeted me and, with a big, warm, smile on her face, placed a bag of goodies into my pillowcase of candy. After conversing with her for a few minutes about how cute I looked (I was a cat), I gave my thanks and skipped off with my mom. The last thing I heard was, “God bless!”

            Later that night, I was going through my goodies to see what I wanted and what I would trade when I came upon the bag my neighbor had given me. It was clear and had a colorful ribbon tied around the top to seal the bag. I could see the assorted candies in the bag, but also a little booklet.

            Curious and nerdy as I am (I have always loved books), I rushed to open the bag and read the booklet. It was a story about a brother and sister at a costume store with their mother, picking out costumes. The boy wanted to be a cowboy and the girl a princess. Suddenly, they came upon an assortment of scary masks, including witches, ghouls, devils, etc.

            The girl was so startled she began to cry. Her mom heard and came up to her. The girl asked why there were so many scary things for Halloween. The mom explained how some people believed Halloween was a time for scaring and trickery, but that their family didn’t do that because that’s not what Christians do. She then explained that was why they were celebrating the time of harvest, which was a beautiful part of God’s creation, instead of a scary Halloween.

            At the end of the booklet it reminded the reader about Jesus’ love and to use the holiday to spread God’s word.

            I will never forget that booklet, though I unfortunately lost it some time ago. It was the first time I realized I could do more than just celebrate harvest on October 31^st. I could use it as a time for community to spread the gospel to those kids who do trick-or-treat for Halloween, unaware of Jesus’ love.

            “Halloween,” so to speak, isn’t for every Christian. Some Christians feel uncomfortable celebrating anything on that day, and that’s okay. Others are comfortable. It’s always simply important to keep Jesus in mind. I personally think October 31^st is a great day to witness for Jesus to many who celebrate without knowing Him.

            I also think if Jesus were around today, He wouldn’t be avoiding trick-or-treaters. He’d be outside, greeting anyone who came up to Him, and sharing His love.

            But hey, that’s just what I think.

To Date or Not to Date a Non-Christian

            One big topic with Christian teens is whether or not to date non-Christians. There are many reasons why any Christian worries about dating a non-Christian, such as disagreements over moral values, differences in future plans, etc. Many think marriages are doomed when the couple isn’t the same religion, the main reason usually being raising kids.

When it comes to teens, though, the differences might seem frivolous. We’re not planning on getting married, so what’s the harm in dating a non-Christian?

Well, recently, one of my friends’ atheist best friends went through a break up with her Christian boyfriend. Since they were together for a few years, my friend thought they overcame their religious differences, but in the end it still got to them.

Here’s my take on the subject.

There was one specific non-Christian guy I dated. I remember turning him down the first few times he asked me out because of our religious differences. I just thought that our relationship would have no future because of it.

Looking back, I know I was right.

Don’t get me wrong. He was a good guy and I don’t regret our relationship at all. In fact, we ended up dating for quite a long time. We were very happy at first. For a while there, it seemed like our religious differences didn’t matter. We loved each other and respected each others beliefs and that was all we needed to know.

But no matter how we hard we tried, our religious differences got in the way.

I remember days when all we’d do was just sit and debate our religious differences. Sometimes I’d even get seriously offended. None of the arguments were ever resolved and they always ended the same way.

“Let’s change the subject.”

Our relationship simply wasn’t going to go anywhere unless one of us was willing to step back from our beliefs for the sake of the relationship. I don’t know if he would have, but I knew that wasn’t going to be me.

Maybe we were both just being stubborn. Maybe I could have brought him to Jesus. Maybe not. All I know was that our religious differences opened my eyes to all of the other differences that we had as a result. Soon enough, I realized that things were going downhill fast.

Still, I feared letting him go. What if no one else loved me the way he did? He was the first guy I ever loved. Could I ever love anyone else that way again?

We eventually did break up. As difficult and heart aching as it was, though, we were both happier in the long run. I prayed that God would bring each of us the person He had in mind for us and just left it in God’s hands.

Let me just say I don’t believe all non-Christian and Christian relationships are doomed. In fact, I have another Christian friend who brought her boyfriend to Jesus. Perhaps I could’ve converted my ex-boyfriend likewise. But I don’t think anyone should go into a relationship planning on changing the other person, no matter what needs changing. The person should want to change on his or her own and that’s difficult to achieve. Unless someone is willing to put all of that time, effort, and faith in, it’s not going to work out.

Personally, I wasn’t ready for that.

Still, I don’t think the relationship was a waste. We both learned to love and learned what it was like to date someone from a different religious background. I know I cleared up many Christian misconceptions he had, and I pray that perhaps that softened his heart enough so someone else in the future could bring him to Jesus.

All right, here’s my last two cents and then I’ll shut up.

Dating is a fun time to get to know each other, perhaps even leading to a first love. But with all of the differences that already come within relationships, religious ones just make things more difficult. Two Christians may disagree on the kind of music they like, but a Christian and non-Christian could disagree on how to respect parents, what’s appropriate on a date physical-wise, whether or not drinking is okay, etc.

I just think dating a Christian removes one more difference, hopefully leaving space for a little more fun.

For me, I’ve had the experience of dating a non-Christian and even though I don’t regret the relationship, I’ve learned I’d rather only date Christians. When I get married someday, I don’t want to deal with religious differences on top of everything else. My parents were both Christian and still divorced, so why add to that? Maybe someone else with a higher level of patience, respect, and work ethic can, and I say all power to them, but it’s just not for me. I’d rather just continue praying to God for a good Christian guy.

Oh, actually, guess what? God has already begun to answer that prayer.

God as My Magic Eight Ball

            Sometimes I just feel lost. I mean, Hansel and Gretel in the woods lost, without a breadcrumb trail leading me anywhere. Not to my house and especially not my future.

I think about the future and all I see is a fuzzy image of myself nowhere in particular, like trying to watch TV while there’s a thunderstorm and the image is too full of static to see clearly. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I don’t know what I’m going to do next. Will I keep studying? Will I do something else? Who knows?

There’s a lot of pressure on teenagers that revolve around the same question: What are you going to do with your life?

I’ve tried to answer that question several different ways.  Honestly, I have. One day I say I want to keep studying until I’m either sick of academia or can’t afford it any more. Another day I decide I just want to dive into the real world and get a job. Then still another day I get fed up with both options and think about doing something more meaningful, like joining the military or the Peace Corps.

No matter what day, though, if someone asked me that infamous question, “What are you going to do with your life?” I always had an answer. But lately, it’s gotten worse. I’ve been changing ideas two to three times a day. One morning I’ll wake up deciding I want to keep studying and later go to bed deciding I want to go into a specific career. The next morning, I’ll decide on something else.

It’s been difficult for me to accept this, but the truth is that I’ve been answering that question incorrectly.

The true answer is this: I just don’t know.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. I know I want to be a writer, I know someday I want to settle down and have a family, but I don’t know when either of those is going to happen. I don’t know what will happen in between or which will come first. I don’t know if I’ll keep studying and start my writing career at the same time. I don’t know if I’ll go off to the Peace Corps and get married the moment I come back. I won’t even mention my other dreams, like traveling the world.

I simply don’t know.

The uncertainty has been eating me up inside. I’ve always been an organized person, using a planner in school for my homework, shelving my books on my bookshelf according to genre, etc. So the fact that I can’t organize my future has been driving me crazy, sometimes to the point of tears. Not only do I not know what to do with my life, it’s like I don’t know what to do with myself until I figure it out.

I’ve realized something, though. I may not know my future, but God does.

At church this past Sunday, the pastor gave a message on how we shouldn’t rely on magic eight balls to help us make our decisions, but that we should instead turn to the Bible. I’ve taken this up a notch and decided that I shouldn’t be looking at magic eight balls at all (not that I have been). Magic eight balls don’t know what my future holds. In fact, no one knows what my future holds, not even myself.

But God does.

It’s taken me a while to take comfort in that fact. God knows what I’m going to do with my life. God knows what the future holds. God simply knows, in a way that I won’t until the time comes.

And He’s going to get me there, somehow.

Instead of pulling out my hair over what to do with my life, then, I think I should just turn to God. After all, He’s the one who knows where I’m ultimately going to end up. Perhaps I should just be patient and meditate in Him, throwing aside the magic eight balls in my life and instead grabbing God’s hand and trusting that, in the end, God will guide me to where I need to go.

Besides, God makes a much better magic eight ball anyways.