God Doesn't Make Mistakes

Note: I wrote this as a guest post for a Christian blog for teen girls that I like, http://goldgodsgirls.blogspot.com/

            Growing up in a Christian household, I’ve always been used to older Christians praying with me. It was only at my very first Christian camp a few years ago when someone the same age as me prayed with me.

            It spoke to me more than any other prayer any adult had ever done for me.

            The camp leaders told us to find partners and pray for each other. My friend turned to me and asked me if we could pray. As uncomfortable as I was with praying out loud at the time, I asked him to go first.

            He put his hands on my shoulders, bowed his head, closed his eyes, and prayed one of the most moving prayers I had ever heard. I can’t remember everything he said, but I do remember one part that impacted me. He said something along the lines of this,

            “Lord, help Your daughter realize she is perfect. She is the way she is because You made her that way. She is absolutely beautiful. There is not a single thing wrong with her. She is completely perfect in Your eyes for You don’t make mistakes.”

            I won’t lie. Tears welled in my eyes and my friend noticed, but he didn’t mind. He gave me a hug and I thanked him before praying for him too.

            The reason why his prayer spoke to me so much is kind of obvious. I, like many other teenage girls, have struggled with my self-esteem. Maybe not so much physically, but with my personality and who I was as a person.

            With divorced parents, I always felt there was something wrong with me. Like many kids with divorced parents, I thought it was my fault. Even more than that, though, I felt like the divorce somehow crippled me as a person, like it permanently damaged me. I was always self-conscious as to the kind of person I was as a result of the divorce.

            My friend’s prayer made me realize that there was no need to be so self-conscious. He was right. I am beautiful, inside and out, because that’s how God made me. Sure, I make my mistakes, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. I may not be perfect in this world, but I am for God. The Lord made me who I am and the kind of person I am for a reason.

            God chose to make me who I am today and, like my friend said, that was no mistake. God doesn’t make any mistakes. He makes decisions.

Who am I to question His decisions?

You Want Me to Do WHAT Because I Love You?!

            What really angers me to the point where I find it difficult to stay quiet is those guys who try to convince girls to have sex and the girls who let them.

I don’t mean out of love, some people are in love and they decide to take that step. I don’t judge them. I worry about the girls who sometimes don’t understand what they’re doing. Sometimes guys just want sex, not love, and that’s not what it’s supposed to be about.

Some guys get away with lines like, “If you loved me, you would show me your love” or “prove it.” Some girls, unfortunately, get reeled in.

Here’s a story where one girl barely made it.

I have a virgin, Christian friend who was dating this guy. Things were getting serious when he wanted her to meet his parents so I knew I needed to remind her about one little fact.

“Does he know you’re a virgin?”

“I don’t want to mention it,” she responded. “What if I scare him away?”

“Well,” I said, “if you tell him now and scare him away, that shows he wasn’t worth it. But if you keep it a secret until much later when you’re really serious about him, then one, he’ll think you lied, and two, it’ll hurt more if you break up instead of finding out now and going separate ways. It’s just realizing you’re each looking for different things in a relationship.”

            As I reminded her, she pushed the subject further into the back of her mind. She didn’t want to tell him anytime soon, but one day, she had no choice.

            She was talking to him and found out he wasn’t a virgin. As a result, she revealed her secret. At first, he didn’t see a problem with it, but when she told him she wanted to wait until marriage, or at least until she was older and in a longer, committed relationship of a few years, he hesitated.

            He acted like it didn’t bother him, but after he let it sink in he exploded with anger and yelled at her. The main gist was that he thought he could fall in love with her and that it wasn’t fair for him to not be allowed to express his love for her physically when he really wanted to be that close to her.

            When my friend told me the story, I worried she gave in. Thankfully, though, she didn’t. Instead, she decided to call him out on it.

            She started yelling right back!

            She said if he truly thought he could love her, than he wouldn’t see this one decision as a problem. She said he shouldn’t pressure her if he really cared about her and that if sex was more important, then they were through.

            Although things didn’t work out, I completely agree with what my friend said. It was true! Her friend was so focused on one aspect that, even though they got along perfectly well, found each other physically attractive, and had fun together, he lost her. He wanted to take that step to meet the parents, but sex was the deal breaker.

            This happens with a lot of girls my age, or any age. They think they have to give in to a guy out of fear of losing them, but I don’t. I think if a guy told me, “If you loved me, you would have sex with me,” I’d say, “If you loved me, you wouldn’t pressure me.”

I’ve made a promise to myself and to God that I want to wait and that’s my decision. If a guy can’t respect that, then forget him. I mean, if a guy won’t respect that one decision about sex, how is he going to respect me?

            It makes me sad so many girls don’t think like this. Many girls give in because they think they’ll never get a guy who respects them enough to wait and then they lower their standards.

            Personally, I don’t think they should, and I don’t want to either. I know it sounds corny, but I have faith God will find me the right guy. I just refuse to let any guy change my mind. I have many reasons for waiting, but the guy doesn’t even need to know them. Just the fact that I want to wait should be enough for his respect.

If a guy can’t understand that, then I don’t need him. I have someone else who loves me great enough to respect everything I say, believe, and dream. He’s God and I trust He’ll find me a guy who will respect me and never pressure me.

The only man I’ll let lead me on is Jesus.

Turning from Porn, Turning to Jesus - Guest Post

By: Drummer for Jesus

One of the biggest problems I think we all face is sexuality. Whether it’s an awkward parental conversation, talking about it with friends or maybe even at Youth Group, we all hear about it at some point and, needless to say, it draws attention. I think what truly draws our attention is the Internet and, along with it, pornography. Today I will share my experience with porn as a Christian teen.

When I was fifteen years old, I started my decline into a pornography addiction. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made. The constant sexual thoughts and images in my head never went away. It was so hard to go a day without it. It drove me away from Jesus because I thought He would never forgive me and I was too far in.

For me, it was worse because I had trouble learning what it meant to love. I struggled to even look at a girl in my classroom without seeing her as a sex object. It only got worse as, along with that, I had a loss of confidence in myself due to my mental state at the time.

I grew to hate both my mind and body. It was so hard for me that I even grew depressed. Pornography had me in its grasp and I didn’t want to let it go. But God had a plan the whole time. He wasn’t going to let me continue in this state.

Three years after it started, I went to Christian camp and met a girl there. I was very shy and didn’t really talk to anyone, but she came up to me and for the first time, I felt something different. Little did I know that this would lead to something greater.

Months passed and college started. I was still in my addiction, but I was brave and started to face it along with the friend I made, who soon became my best friend. I gained confidence, started exercising and going to church again, and prayed constantly for God to help me keep going.

Next thing I knew, I went a day without pornography, then a week, then a month. It eventually turned into several months (with occasional relapses) until I ultimately triumphed over my addiction thanks to the grace of God. Thanks to Him, not only did I get out of my addiction, but also one of the most wonderful things happened.

I fell in love with my best friend who helped me through it all. I’m grateful to her because she was the miracle I needed at that exact moment. Now, I’m blessed to say I’ve been almost half a year sober and started to get counseling and I’ve never been happier in my life!

Now you might think just one peek won’t hurt, but let me refer you to a scripture I keep close to my heart at times like those. 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 says to run away from sexual temptations and sin because, though it might not seem to affect you at first, it might lead you to do something you’ll regret.

If you have a pornography addiction, boy or girl, I urge you to talk with anyone who could help. Many pastors have dedicated years of study to this and can help. I suggest you watch this video from Robert Cook, a youth minister who has helped people turn from pornography, as a push to help you receive the forgiveness and blessing of God.

May God bless you all and thanks SWIACT for letting me be a guest writer!

A Father's Day Post: The Greatest Father of All

            Father’s Day has never been a fun time for me. As a child with divorced parents, my dad was never really around much. My stepdad was there, but he could never really fulfill the father role as a whole either. My dad later came into the picture, but still there was something missing. It felt like neither one of these men could truly fill the father shoes.

Because of all of this, I grew up always feeling fatherless.

            Buying cards for Father’s Day was incredibly difficult. Sentimental cards with messages like, “Thanks for always being there for me!” were out of the question. Generic cards that just said, “Happy Father’s Day” didn’t seem like enough. Even if I found a card, what was I supposed to write then? I was completely lost.

How was I supposed to buy a card for my father(s) when I felt like I never had one?

The answer was closer than I thought.

It took me a while to understand that I did indeed have a father. In fact, I had the same father as everyone else in the world and He has always been there for me from before I was even born.

God, the greatest Father of all.

If I could buy a Father’s Day card for God, I would. I’m not exactly sure what it would say, but it would be the most heartfelt card I could find. At least I know that God knows how grateful I am for Him in my heart because every time I felt that I was fatherless, He made sure I had a father to turn to, the Father.

After I realized this, I realized something else. I wasn’t fatherless at all. In fact, I had three! God, who was always there for me; my stepdad, who always tried his best for me even though we aren’t biologically related; and my dad, whose here for me now and whom I have to thank for bringing me into this world.

Ever since I’ve realized this, Father’s Day has been a lot easier for me. I just always look for a Father’s Day card that speaks the truth on how thankful I am and whatever is missing I fill in myself.

To my dad and stepdad:

I am so grateful God has brought both of you into my life. You are each blessings in your own way.

I know I have you both for a specific reason. Separately, you each fill one of the father shoes. Together, you fulfill the role of a father as a whole. That’s why I need both of you in my life.

Please never forget how important you each are to me. I never want to be without either of you.

I love you two so much.

Always,

Your daughter

Happy Father’s Day!

Blessings, Take off Your Disguise

            One of my favorite Christian songs is “Blessings” by Laura Story. I think the chorus pretty much sums up what the song is about. Listen to it here.

            The song is about how sometimes the most difficult parts of our lives might really just be God’s blessings in disguise. Like the chorus says, the raindrops, tears, sleepless nights, and trials might really be blessings in disguise and that’s why we can’t see them.

             I want to take that one step further.

I think any blessing in general can seem like it’s in disguise if I’m going through a tough time. If I’m having a good day, for example, I’ll be more aware of all of the good things in my life. If I’m having a bad day, though, all of a sudden all I can see are the bad things and not the good.

            The perfect example would be comparing how I am now to when I was depressed. When I was depressed, I was blinded. I couldn’t see any of the blessings I had. My family, friends, school, job, etc. seemed like nothing to me, perhaps even more of a burden.

            Now, all I can see are my supportive family and friends, my great education at my school, my job that will look great on my resume for when I’m older, etc. I am so thankful for all of these blessings that I know so many people unfortunately don’t have.

            What changed, then?

            It wasn’t the blessings that were different. I still have every single blessing now that I had when I was depressed. It was me. My depression wouldn’t let me see what I still had. All of the blessings I had seemed like they were disguised as trials, but they weren’t really. I was the one, subconsciously, giving these blessings a disguise.

            Personally, whenever things are going well in my life, I’m extremely grateful for all of the blessings I have. When things are not going so well, I become blinded and suddenly every blessing seems like it’s gone. When things start to go well again, though, the disguise comes right off and I am grateful for all I have again.

            I honestly wish I didn’t do that.

            From now on, I think I’m going to try something. Every time my life seems to be full of nothing but problems, I’m going to take a minute and think about all of the blessings I still have in my life. If I can’t see them, maybe it’s because I’ve given them a disguise they don’t deserve.

            I’ll just ask God to help me see through the disguises to find His blessings. I know they’ll always be there if I look hard enough.